Having been in the IT/Computer/CyberSecurity world for a very long time, we all here the stories. Funny little quipt's or short stories that are just too funny not to pass along.
That's where the roots of this website come in. There are tons of stories and laughable incidences that just need to be shared.
Got one you want added here? Email me and I will post it, with full cudos to you.
A man is flying in a hot air balloon and realizes he is lost. He reduces height and spots a man down below. He lowers the balloon further and shouts,
"Excuse me, can you tell me where I am?
"The man below says, "Yes, you're in a hot air balloon, hovering 30 feet above this field. "
"You must be in IT", says the balloonist.
"I am", replies the man. "How did you know?"
"Well", says the balloonist, "everything you have told me is technically correct, but it's of no use to anyone!"
The man below says, "You must be in management."
"I am", replies the balloonist, "but how did you know?"
"Well", says the man, "you don't know where you are, or where you're going, but you expect me to be able to help. You're in the same position you were before we met, but now it's my fault."
An SQL statement walks into a bar and sees two tables. It approaches, and asks “may I join you?”
Years ago on a Microsoft Exchange listserv a guy asked a question about how to stop all of these .log files from spontaneously appearing in the exchsrvr\mdbdata directory because they were filling up his data drive and he had log files from the last 6 months. Now this is a common issue for Exchange admins that aren't very good yet so the guys in the listserv started replying with useful info, links for him to read up on, etc. The original poster became kind of an ass in his responses, complaining they were sending him links and complicated solutions and he wanted a quick fix and why wouldn't they just tell him how to fix it immediately and stop being such jerks.
One person finally replied, "If you really want to stop the .log files from continuing to appear, just stop all of the Exchange services on the box and delete all the .edb files in the same directory as the .log files."
We never heard from him again.
I'd tell you a joke about UDP, but you probably wouldn't get it.
Q: What's the best thing about telling UDP jokes?
A: You don't care when nobody gets them.
Punchlines in UDP jokes are lame because nobody cares whether you get it or not.